This goes out to all brides, grooms and anyone getting married - I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!
As somebody who has been working in the wedding industry for years, I always dreamed of my own wedding. With every wedding I photographed the dream changed just a little bit, this flower, that tradition, ooo that color! As much as most women spend years dreaming of their special day, I was participating in other people's wedding days for much of my adult life and using their love stories to inspire what I hoped would be one epic gathering of my very own.
Most weekends from April - November are saturated with beauty, love and a whole new take on what a wedding is. I live in the wedding industry. It's the best gift to be on the inside track, I can see first hand what works, what doesn't, what's new, what's been done, what makes guests happy, what is beautiful but ultimately ends up in the garbage.... All of it. I also see how much effort the planner, the florist, the caterer, the design team, the photographers, band etc. all put into making this one day perfect and why you truly get what you pay for. Pick a strong team, one that not only creates an aesthetic that you like, but one with personalities you get along with. They are the people that spend months and weeks curating your party to be YOURS and they're the ones that will take care of you and your guests.
All these things I already knew. What I wasn't prepared for was SHARING these decisions I'd spent years imagining.
In the weeks leading up to the wedding, our heads were spinning with all the little decisions we had to make. Being in the wedding business I had an idea of timelines, family shot lists, favors - all the things that pull the day together. I imagined that I'd be seasoned and could whip right through these tasks. The funny thing I didn't consider was that this wasn't MY wedding. It was OUR wedding. As much as I wanted to take the reigns, make it perfect and not let the stress rest on his shoulders, I realized I had to relinquish some of it to him otherwise it wouldn't be ours. It may sound trivial, but this was a tricky concept for me to grasp. In my effort to take care of business and get sh!t done, I was being selfish. Oh, the irony.
Once this clicked in my brain, the stress of it all melted away. I didn't have to do this alone. (In fact I wasn't doing it alone at all, but the burden of being the professional in a bride's shoes I felt like it was my responsibility.) Another small, but mighty!, A-ha moment, 'Wow, I have a partner in this!' The greater significance here is that my partner in this, is my partner in life.
**** Your partner in planning the biggest party you may ever throw, is your partner in life! ****
That is so huge and SO worth celebrating!
As tedious, exciting and never-ending as the wedding to-do list may feel, don't forget to turn to your partner in crime and remember why you are here. Pause, take a big breath. You two are the priorities in this whole thing. If it won't make you and your guests happy - you don't have to do it. Your guests will love you and be so happy to celebrate with you, they won't notice if the flowers are peonies or roses. The real beauty of a wedding day comes from human connection. The connection you have with each other, your friends, families, all the people you love. That is where the true magic comes from and what will keep it alive in the years to come :)
to be continued...... Part II - The Wedding coming soon...!!...
All photos courtesy Perpixel Photo